What is Trauma?
Virgin River, Trauma, and the Wounds We Carry
In recent weeks, I binge-watched all six seasons of Virgin River on Netflix. With Season 7 approaching, I found myself reflecting on why this series struck such a deep chord in me — and likely in so many others. Virgin River isn't just cozy TV comfort food; it's a masterclass in portraying trauma, forgiveness, and healing in ways that feel raw, lived, and profoundly human. It mirrors, in many ways, my own journey since a life-altering traumatic event in 2009.
Trauma hums underneath almost every story arc in Virgin River. Mel Monroe arrives in the town carrying a heart shattered by personal loss. Jack Sheridan battles the invisible wounds of PTSD after military service. Brie Sheridan fights to reclaim herself after the devastating aftermath of an assault. Even the community pillars — Doc Mullins and Hope McCrea — wrestle with the profound upheaval that aging and illness bring. No character escapes trauma. More importantly, no character is defined solely by it either.
Forgiveness and healing are equally central themes. As Shann Ferch (2012) reminds us, forgiveness in the aftermath of atrocity is not about forgetting or condoning — it’s about releasing the "illusion of control" and allowing vulnerability to become a source of authentic power and reconnection. In Virgin River, forgiveness is a messy, nonlinear process that requires courage, community, and grace.
But before we dive deeper into forgiveness and healing in future posts, we must start where the journey truly begins: by understanding what trauma actually is.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma is a complex psychological and physiological response to experiences that overwhelm an individual's ability to cope. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), trauma results from “an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life-threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being” (SAMHSA, 2014).
Notice that trauma is not just about what happens. It’s about how it lands inside a person. Trauma lives not only in the events but in the body and brain's response to those events.
Dr. Bruce Perry (2017) emphasizes this distinction by pointing out that trauma is characterized by “a loss of control, a sense of helplessness, and a perceived threat to survival” that dysregulates the brain’s stress-response system. Unlike typical stress, trauma overwhelms the system, creating lasting disruptions in emotional regulation, cognition, and even physical health.
Sigmund Freud, one of the first thinkers to explore trauma clinically, defined it as an experience where stimuli are “too powerful to be dealt with or worked off in the normal way” (as cited in Maté & Maté, 2022). Long before Freud, however, trauma was recognized — even if unnamed. The Greek word traûma means “wound,” and early medical texts describe psychological injuries among warriors that sound hauntingly similar to today’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (Regel & Joseph, 2010).
Throughout history — from the soldiers of ancient Mesopotamia (Abdul-Hamid & Hughes, 2014) to the warriors of Marathon (Herodotus, circa 5th century BCE) — trauma has been part of the human condition. What’s changed is our understanding: today, we know trauma imprints itself deeply on both body and brain.
How Trauma Impacts the Brain and Body
Perry (2021) uses a brilliant metaphor to describe the brain: it’s like a "four-layer cake," processing from the bottom up:
Brainstem (autonomic survival functions)
Diencephalon (arousal, appetite, movement)
Limbic system (emotions, memory, attachment)
Cortex (thinking, planning, empathy)
When trauma strikes, it hits the bottom layers first — the parts of us wired for survival, not logic. Van der Kolk (2014) explains that the brain’s alarm system can override higher reasoning, pulling us into automatic, primal responses: fight, flight, freeze, or collapse.
Perry (2021) adds that trauma impairs the brain’s ability to process time, meaning that for trauma survivors, "then" can feel like "now." The past isn't just a memory — it’s a visceral, ongoing experience.
The consequences can be profound:
Brainstem dysregulation → heightened anxiety, hypervigilance
Diencephalon impact → disrupted sleep, appetite issues, chronic fatigue
Limbic system disruptions → emotional volatility, impaired attachment
Cortical shutdown → difficulty thinking clearly under stress, impaired empathy
Importantly, the brain’s architecture is built “from the bottom up,” as van der Kolk (2014) puts it. Trauma during sensitive periods of development — childhood, adolescence, or even perinatal periods — can deeply affect emotional, relational, and cognitive capacities for life.
Trauma Isn't Just PTSD
A critical point: trauma is broader than PTSD.
While PTSD is a diagnosable mental health condition with specific criteria, many trauma survivors never meet the full threshold — but still live with profound wounds. Tedeschi and Calhoun’s (1996) work on Post-Traumatic Growth reminds us that trauma can lead to profound transformation and resilience, but only if it’s acknowledged and worked through.
Unaddressed trauma often shows up in ways that don't fit neatly into diagnostic boxes: chronic health issues, relationship difficulties, substance use, emotional numbing, perfectionism, self-sabotage. Trauma isn’t rare — it’s a near-universal human experience. Studies suggest that up to 70% of adults have experienced at least one significant traumatic event (Perry, 2021).
In Virgin River, trauma isn't reserved for soldiers like Jack or assault survivors like Brie. It also manifests in Hope's cognitive decline after an accident, Doc’s quiet battles with regret, and even Mel's need to "start over" after devastating loss. Trauma touches everyone. It just speaks in different languages.
Trauma as a Wound to Meaning
Gabor Maté (2022) reminds us that trauma isn’t just what happened to you. It’s what happened inside you as a result of what happened to you. Trauma wounds our ability to trust the world, to trust others, even to trust ourselves.
The characters in Virgin River embody this: isolated, guarded, braced for disappointment — yet yearning for reconnection. Healing, when it comes, is through community, compassion, and painfully rebuilding shattered internal narratives.
Similarly, healing from trauma in real life is not about “getting over it.” It’s about slowly restoring a sense of safety, meaning, and belonging — a process that requires time, patience, and, crucially, other people.
Setting the Stage for Forgiveness and Healing
Understanding trauma is not a detour; it’s the essential first step. Only by appreciating how trauma fractures the body, brain, and meaning-making systems can we understand why forgiveness and healing are so radical — and so hard.
In my next post, we'll explore how trauma disrupts Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs — and why stability is the non-negotiable first rung in rebuilding a life.
In the meantime, if you're resonating with these themes, know this: you are not alone, you are not broken, and healing is absolutely possible.
Trauma Resources:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (Dial 988) — Immediate crisis support
National Center for PTSD (www.ptsd.va.gov) — Education and self-help tools
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk — Groundbreaking trauma recovery guide
What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey — Accessible, compassionate trauma education
Sidran Institute for Traumatic Stress Education and Advocacy (www.sidran.org)
References:
Abdul-Hamid, W., & Hughes, J. H. (2014). Trauma and the Assyrian healing arts.
Ferch, S. R. (2012). Forgiveness and power in the age of atrocity: Servant leadership as a way of life. Lexington Books.
Maté, G., & Maté, D. (2022). The Myth of Normal. Avery.
Perry, B. D. (2017). The boy who was raised as a dog: And other stories from a child psychiatrist’s notebook. Basic Books.
Perry, B. D., & Winfrey, O. (2021). What happened to you? Conversations on trauma, resilience, and healing. Flatiron Books.
Regel, S., & Joseph, S. (2010). Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The Psychologist.
SAMHSA. (2014). SAMHSA’s concept of trauma and guidance for a trauma-informed approach.
Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (1996). The posttraumatic growth inventory: Measuring the positive legacy of trauma. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9(3), 455-471.
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.